Hey, all! I know, I promised the first chapter of
WHO AM I? yesterday. Unfortunately, I didn't get it up. I was quite busy. I'm surprised I even had time to post this! Anyway, I hope you enjoy. :]
CHAPTER ONE.
"Danni!" My Mother shouted. I take out my headphones.
"What?" I say, glaring at her. Her eyes are pleading for me to be a better daughter. By now, she should know not to disturb me while I'm listening to music. Usually, when I am, I'm thinking. Trying to find who I am. I told her that this is what I'm doing, finding who I am. She blew it off like it was nothing. Like I wasn't important. As you can see, our relationship isn't very good. When she doesn't reply, and goes back to vacuuming, I roll my eyes and clench my jaw. "What did you want, Mom?" I ask tightly. "I'd like to know."
She turns off the vacuume. "Really?" she wants to know. "Do you really?" She clenches her fists, tears about to fall from her bright green eyes.
"All I want is for a daughter to care. To help. To do somthing!"
I close my eyes and breathe. Please, God, I pray. Please don't make us get into this argument again. Mom continues to ramble on. "All I want is for you to help around the house. You do nothing--" she suddenly stops. A softer look takes over her face, as if all anger just left her body and peace settled in. "Oh. . .wait, I forgot. . .you're finding your 'Inner self.' 'Who you are' 'What you're here for.'"
I stand up and throw my iPod down on the couch. "You know what mom? All you do is NAG. Nag, nag, nag. That's all you 'do.' I try, okay? I have school, work, life. What don't you understand about this? I'm a teenager, Mom. I need time." She puts her dark red hair into a pony tail and grabs a tissue from the end table, wiping her makeup smeared eyes. "I just want to know my daughter more," She sobs.
"I barely know you anymore. I love you, Danni. Do you not know that?"
I soften, and shape my face into a more loving look. "I love you too, Mom. I'm sorry. I really am,"
I reply. I tell her I'm going to go to bed, and take my iPod upstairs. I dress in my pajamas and lay in bed, staring at my ceiling. Who am I? I ask myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hi," The boy says. He has gorgeous blue grey eyes that you can barely see under his dark brown hair. His face is shaped squarely. I can't help but hope he likes me. He's perfect, I think to myself. The boys laughs when I don't reply because I'm intrigued by his amazing looks.. His laugh is like the ocean; calm and beautiful. "I'm James," He introduces himself. I smile widely, and my eyes shine. "Hello," I say softly, a little embarassed.. "I'm Danni."
My spine tingles as the sudden touch of his warm, firm hands caress my face. "We'll make it through this," He says firmly.
I look at him, confused. "I-I'm sorry, what?" I ask curiously.
As fast as he came, he's gone. His caress, though, is left on my face. I quickly touch my face where he caressed me. The feeling, like James, is gone suddenly. An empty feeling falls over me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up, all of the sudden. I hadn't known I was asleep. That dream; it felt so real. I wish it was real. I need it to be. I prop myself up on my elbows and lean back, happy for the silence. Usually, by the time I'm awake, my mothers up and already at work, so I don't have to deal with her. I feel more at home without her here. I begin to stretch and as I do, my back cracks and I sigh dreamily. That felt wonderful. I sit up and walk lazily to my dresser. I open my drawer and pull out a purple T-shirt and pull a pair of dark jeans from the clean laundry pile that is waiting for me to put it away. After I slip my clothes on, I pick up an empty notebook from my school supplies and begin to write.
Mom always said I needed to keep a dream journal. But, instead I'm gonna keep a diary. That sounds easier than a dream journal.
I've now decided to because of my dream I had last night. I really don't
want to forget it. There was a boy. He said his name was James. He had the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my life. They were a blue grey, but you couldn't see them unless his hair was out of the way of his eyes. He had dark, dark brown hair. It was so gorgeous. Just like his bone structure.
He had a square jaw and his laugh. . .It was amazing. It was so smooth and soft-- like it was floating on the air. Then, all out of the blue, he told me that we were going to make it through this. I'm not sure what he was talking about though. I wish he was real, and not just made up.
I never have the same dreams more then once, so I don't think I'll ever see him again. I'll never hear his beautiful laugh, or be able to stare at his wonderful face again. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!!!!! I want to write more, but I have to get ready for school. I think I'll day dream about him in math class. Yeah, that sounds good.
I finish writing and put my journal under my mattress. Picking up my backpack, I remember I don't have school because of a staff meeting. If I had school, I would have been late, anyway. I begin to grin and lay back down on my bed. After a moment, I stand back up and walk downstairs, ready to make a good breakfast.When I reach the kitchen, I see that there is a sink full of dishes. I roll my eyes. Typical for mom to leave stuff for me to clean up. I start to do the dishes. Our kitchen is my favorite part of the house.
Mom likes to say that it charms the buyers. Ours is amazing. It has a gorgeous baby blue coat of paint, a greyish-white granite counter top, and it's normally always clean. It has a small, white, round table, with two white chairs around it. Mom loves her kitchen appliances. We have a stainless steel fridge, oven, sink, and dishwasher.
When I have to do dishes, I prefer to do them by hand instead of putting them in the dishwasher, so I don't forget to put them away before I go to load it. While I watch the dishes, I can't help but notice the moving truck across the street. An idea suddenly pops into my mind: I should make cookies for them! Before I even get anything out of the cabinets, my phone rings.
"Hello," I answer.
"Hey, hey, hey, Danni! It's David, from work." The person on the other line says. David is one of my managers at the clothing store I work at.
"Oh," I laugh. "Whatcha need?"
"What's your call-in supposed to be for today?" he asks. I walk over to the fridge to check my work schedule.
Thursday: Call-in: 1:30-5:00.
"It says one-thirty until five." I reply.
"Alright," he says. "Cool, cool. You busy?"
I roll my eyes like I didn't see that coming. I smile happily. "No, I'm not. Need me to come in?"
There's a pause on the end of the phone. "Now every time I call, why do you automatically assume I need you to come into work?" He asks playfully.
I stifle a laugh. He does this all of the time. It's like a game. He calls for me to come into work, but when I ask if he needs me to, he says I don't need to.
"Oh, so I don't need to come into work?" I ask.
"I never said that," He says. I can just see him now, his signature smirk on his face.
"I'll be there in ten," I say.
David chuckles. "Okay," he says. "But I'm only making you stay until three, since you're coming in early."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walk into the my works front doors, twirling my car keyes around my finger. Phaedra greets me with a smile. "Hey, girl. Why are you in here early?" I return her smile and point to David. He laughs guiltily, but smiles. "Well, it's cool," Phaedra says. "We like havin' you here."
I first met Phaedra when I was shopping here, and I asked for an application. When she wrote down her name I had to ask how to pronounce it.
"Fay-Druh," she said, understandingly. "My parents are Greek."
I just nodded and said, "It's beautiful."
I walk in the employee only room to put my keys and my wallet in my locker. After I put them away, I put on my headset and walk out the door into Woman Area One of our store, and start re-folding jeans. Phaedra walks up to me, and we start folding jeans together. "How was your day off yesterday?" She asks in her light southern accent.
"It was pretty nice, actually," I say. "Except for the fact that my mom was being a jerk."
She laughs. "How is your mom bad compared to mine?" She re-folds a pair of our Favorite Boyfriend jeans. "Your mom ain't got nothin' on mine, girl. Trust me." I laugh lightly, doubting her word.
"Yeah," I scratch my shoulder and smile. "I'm so happy I work here. You know that, Phaedra?" She smiles and looks down.
"I do, as a matter of fact. We're so happy you're here. You've been a real blessing. You're so good at your job."
I grin sheepishly."Aww, thanks." She nods and walks off to the mens area.
I go over to our clearance to neaten up. I find a extra large graphic T-shirt in the smalls, and walk around the rack to put it in the smalls. A petite woman walks up to me, her hips swaying back and forth as she does. "Ma'am," she snaps. I clear my throat and glance at David, who is standing at the cash register, checking a teenager out. He looks over at me for a moment, but then goes back to checking the customer out. "Yes? May I help you find something, Ma'am?" I say.
She squints her eyes. "I had a shirt sitting here a moment ago that I was going to pick up after I tried on my jeans. Where is it?" Her eyes blink furiously. I try my hardest not to roll my eyes. Customers like this always come up to us and say the exact same thing.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I suppose someone could have come and picked it up. If you tell me what it looks like, I may be able to help." She looks at me skeptically.
"I'm sure you're not going to find it, even if I do tell you what it looks like. It was the last one."
I blink."Hmm, why don't you tell me what it looks like, and I'll see if we have another." I fake a smile.
"It is a pink and yellow plaid flannel shirt. Size medium." She sighs, looking at me as if I were wasting her time. I glance around the store. "Be right back," I tell her.
I quickly walk into Woman Area Two, and look through our shirts and tanks. Suddenly there is a noise coming from my headset. "Good luck with her," the voice says. It sounds familiar, but I can't tell where I've heard it before.
I look around the store looking for David. It's probably him. He's nowhere in sight. "Yeah," I mumble into my ear piece. The person laughs on the other end. I look on the bottom of our white wooden shelf. It's not there. I check under it. Not there either. I walk around the store looking for the shirt, but can't find it. I walk up to the woman again.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I can't find it." I say, shrugging.
She crosses her arms angrily. "I had it right here," she points to the top of the clearance rack. "Someone moved it. It is your responsibility to know where it is. It is your fault someone took it."
I sigh lightly and clench my jaw, and repeat the exact same thing I say to every person who comes in saying they lost something in the store, and it's our fault.
"I'm sorry to have to say this, Ma'am, but it is not our fault. I suppose you misplaced it. I'm very sorry to hear that. If you need anymore help, find one of us and we'll be willing to do our best to help you. Until then, I'm afraid I have to get back to work." I give her my best sincere smile and continue to fix the clearance rack.
The woman walks away to the check out counter, where David sends her away happy. Or at least as happy as that lady can be. Once she leaves I walk up to the counter, and lean on it, my arms reaching the other side of the counter and curling at the edge.
I yawn lightly. David rests his hand on my head, pressing down. "Hey!" I protest, lifing my head up, laughing. He grins at me. "Rude," I laugh. He rolls his eyes and laughs at me. "Get to work, child." he smirks.
"Who are you calling a child, child?" I say as he walks off. "Minor!" he calls behind his back. I smile and look a the clock. It's two thirty. I came in at twelve, so that means I've been working for two and a half hours. Lunch break, here I come! I find David hanging around the dressing rooms. He lifts an eyebrow as I approach him.
"Hey, David," I say slowly and sweetly. "I was just wondering. . .if I can take my lunch break?" I widen my eyes, trying to look adorable. David's back slumps.
"Hey, Danni," he says, mocking me. "You totally can, but I'm coming with you, 'kay?"
I laugh. "Whatever," I say. And with that, we walk out of our little store, and he takes his car, and I take mine.
Last than a minute later, we arrive at a fast food joint. That's a good thing about working in a small store up in the mall--there are restaurants, diners, and fast food places surrounding it for that break from shopping. I park the car a few spaces from the door, and David parks beside me. We walk up the the counter together. David laughs and catches me when I slip on a spot on the ground where someone spilled their drink.
I thank him, smiling sheepishly. I tell David my order and he orders. The cashier hands me two cups, and I walk over to the yellow colored drink counter to fill them up. As I'm filling up my drink with diet Dr. Pepper, a young boy, probably eight years old, runs out of nowhere, up to me. He grins widely until someone calls him back over to their table. "See you later!" he calls over his shoulder.
I turn back to the counter, confused. I begin to fill up David's drink with Coke, like he told me to, not being able to stop thinking about the little boy and his words. See you later, see you later, see you later. What was he talking about? Was he just saying that to freak me out? David walks up to me with a tray that's filled with food. He inturrups my thoughs when he says "Hey,"
He starts picking up handfulls of ketchup. I snort. "Got enough ketchup there?" He glances at me, clearly amused.
"I like ketchup. Plus, if I bring a whole lot home, I don't have to buy as much ketchup from the store. So, think. For three dollars, that's including my meal only, okay? I can get a sandwich, fries, a drink, and probably thirty packs of ketchup. For only three dollars." he winks at me, continuing to fill up the tray with ketchup.
"Frugal, are we?" I wink back and go to find a table. David walks over to me, the tray overflowing with ketchup. I laugh out loud, covering my mouth quickly. "Sorry," I grimace. He nods and sets down the tray.
"Wow," he says. "I just noticed this is my first time I've gone to lunch with you." he laughs.
"Yeah," I reply. "Surprising, huh?"
He nods and gives me my chicken sandwich "So how do you like your four months of working here so far?" I take a bite of my sandwitch and swallow before replying,"I really like it, actually."
"Actually?"he laughs."Well, I'm happy you like it. I like having you here. I never really feel like I'm friends with Phaedra or anyone else at work, really. But it's different with you," he looks down and I take a bite of my chicken sandwich as he continues."I feel like I can talk to you like we're friends, not just co-workers, you know?"
I smile at him."Yeah, I think I do." David flicks his sleek black hair to the side and finishes his off his fries. He asks me if I want him to refill my drink while I eat. I say sure and focus on finishing my food. He comes back a minute later as I'm eating my last bite. He hands me my drink. "Thanks for letting me come to lunch with you."
"No problem, I had fun," I say, rising from my chair. He smiles and we walk back to our cars and drive back to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLLLLOOOOOOOOPPPPP! I hope you liked it!<3
Love, love, love,
Abbi.
