Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Hmm. Can you say,"EXCERPT"? (;

Okay, sorry about the weird name for the post. I didn't wanna be all,"Excerpt of______." That just sound borrringgg. Anyhow, today you'll be reading the first chapter in Kidnapped. If you're all,"What's this. . .?"

 I'll post the description first. I really, really hope y'all like this, because from Figment(The writing site I'm on[Used to be Inkpop]) people really seem to like it! :D I'm trying a new writing style on Kidnapped where my paragraphs are linked together. Yeah, so if it's crowded or anything, tell me. 

And you're probably wondering why I didn't post a Cover Contest for it, and that's because I had someone on Figment do it for me. I couldn't really find exactly what I wanted, so I asked someone to do it. I'll show the cover too.(:
 Cover:

Enjoy! 
Description:
Everyone thinks I'm dead. But they don't really know that I'm alive. They don't know that the person they found in the woods isn't me. And that guy they put in jail? He didn't kill me, he doesn't even know me. Well, I'm sure he does now, because I'm pretty famous around town as the girl who was kidnapped and killed. 
But like I said, I'm not dead. I'm fully alive, I'm healthy, and I am in love. You're probably wondering with who, because since I've been kidnapped, whoever sees me will automatically go to the police, right? Well, let me tell you. I'm in love with my kidnapper.



Chapter one: 



CHAPTER ONE: Past (November 12th, 2004)














I was eight years old when I was kidnapped. Dad had just left for work, and mom was teaching Nicholas, my older brother, how to use the washing machine. I couldn't take the noise, so I decided to go outside. I will never know if my mom heard me when I said that I was going outside, but I did try to tell her. I was playing with my little doll that I got as an early birthday present. My birthday was the next day. Anyways, while I was playing, I saw this beautiful dog walking down the street. My mother had told me many times before not to leave the yard, but there was something about this dog that made me just block that thought out and follow it. 
Every time I would get within a few feet of the dog, it would turn around and look at me for a moment before walking even faster. Finally, we reached the park. The dog ran back down the street minutes later, leaving me behind, all alone in the park. Not completely alone, though. There were a few mothers, maybe s father or two. Decided that I would go play on the swings, so I did. Suddenly, I had firm hands of someone pushing me on the swing. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time. I let him push me until I was so high I could touch the tree branch that was resting just above the swingset.
The man who was pushing me, who I now call Nathan, took hold of the chain that was connected to the seat. Him doing that sent me flying off of the swing, nearly breaking my arm. I remember him shouting,"Oh, sweetheart! Are you alright? C'mon, darling, let's go home and get your scratches cleaned up." 
I thought he was really going to take me home to help me. He didn't. He held my hand, walking me far away from my home. We went off of a road, into the country. I tried at least three times to take my hand from his, but his was too big and he kept his grip. We soon arrived in a very big field, a large SUV parked next to a small, withering tree. Nathan tightened his grip and began to kind of drag me toward the tree. By now I was crying, unaware of what could happen. A little boy, ten at the time, walked out from behind the tree with a rope in one hand, and duck tape in the other. 
They tied me up and stuck layers of duck tape over my mouth. I could barely breathe. "Aiden," Nathan laughed,"this is the one you wanted, right?" Aiden laughed with his father and nodded his head. He thanked his father, and did the "honor" of throwing me in the back of the car. I tried to scream, no words coming from my mouth, but tears streaming down my face. I soon ran out of energy and surprisingly fell asleep. When I woke up, Nathan was hauling me into a small cabin. The grass there was, and still is, turning brown. I've lived in this cabin most of my life, and have never seen that grass a beautiful green like the grass at my old home.
Anyway, the woods that the cabin was loacated at, was far, far away from where I'd lived, I soon learned. Not that I was able to go to town many times. Nathan lead me to a small room which walls were painted pink, my favorite color at the time. There, in the corner of the room laid a twin bed(which I still have), with a purple comforter with pink butterflies on it. A small bedside table, a lamp upon it, was right next to that twin bed. A dresser on the opposite side of the room. The only toy I had was my little doll.
But on that bed there was a little girl who looked like me.
She had wavy brown hair, green-brown eyes, and was tall, like me. I was scared how much she looked like me. We could have been related. She had tears in her eyes as she said,"W-what are you doing with her? Are we going to be friends--there will be two of us? I--she. . .you're not getting rid of me, are you?! Where will I go?" 
Nathan nodded his head at Aiden and Aiden pulled out a small pocket knife. "Follow me, Hannah," he said, holding his arm around her chest and the knife to her throat."Now." he pulled the doll from my hand and I cried and hollered.
She followed him and that was the last I ever saw her. A few months later, the police found her in the middle of the woods behind a little grocery store. They called my parents thinking that she was me. My parents took one look at the doll and just assumed she was me--no DNA tests. Nothing. And that was that. I was dead to them. Gone. Vanished. The entire crime was over. The man who people saw lingering around the grocery store was my killer. His hands were bloody. The Hannah's body was bloody. So was my doll.

~`~`~`~


As days, weeks, months, and years have gone by, I found myself feeling as though Nathan was my father and this was home. I developed a crush on Aiden that is now a healthy relationship. At first, I must admit, I would do anything to get away. If he took me out to town, I would try to scream and do anything to be noticed, unless Aidens hand wasn't clamped over my mouth. But as the days went buy, I noticed something: I'm never going to be able to leave. I'm here forever. Not that I mind. Although, I wouldn't mind going to visit my parents and tell them that I'm safe, okay, and well, alive. I hope to do that on my sixteenth birthday, with my new identity as Erica Blackstone, daughter of Nathan Blackstone. And Aiden just so happens to have the same last name.
Everything, as Nathan would say, is going to turn out perfect.

~`~`~`~

Present (November 12th 2012)


I laugh uncontrolably as Aiden stands over Nathan, re-dying his orange hair. Earlier today, Aiden was asked to dye Nathan's graying hair blonde. But they rinsed it too quickly and it turned bright orange. Now, after spending a while looking up how to get newly dyed hair color out of your hair(on our very, so very slow Internet, I might add), we're finally re-dying it. This is the only solution we could find that wouldn't involve bleaching his hair.
"Stop laughing, Erica," Nathan says, while laughing. 
"Sorry," I reply sheepishly. "It's just hilarious seeing you with red--I mean orange--hair!" I manage to lower my laughter to just a giggle. Nathan shakes his head, letting everything go like he always does. He takes everything so smoothly. He's a very mellow person. I stand up and walk over to Aiden. 
"I told you you should've let me dye his hair. Now see what you've done?" I say playfully as he squirts more hair dye onto his gloved hand. I kiss him on the cheek and walk back over to the uncomfortable couch I was just sitting on."I can fix anything I mess up, Erica." he smiles.
Now, let me tell you something about Aiden. He's one of those quiet people that never talk. But when they do everyone listens whether or not it's important. If he's talking about school, dinner, or his friends--anything. Everyone listens. He doesn't really have a problem talking around me, though. No, really. He won't stop talking when it's only me and him. He's like one of those little house things that I used to have. You press a button and it just won't shut up. But Aiden's cute when he won't stop talking, so it's all good. I smile.
Just thinking about Aiden makes me smile. I look at him, studying his amazing features. He's tall, probably six-foot-three. He has straight brown hair that falls over his eyes in that skater boy way. He also has these intriguing eyes that are dark blue, almost black. You see them and just can't stop staring. Plus, he's mine. Seriously, I still can't get this wrapped around my head. He's mine. We're dating. We have been for three years now. Somtimes, when I get angry at him(which is rarely), I want to run away. I get so angry that he chose me.
He chose me.
He was the one who pointed me out to his father. He wanted me. So whatever if we fight sometimes. He's never hurt me. I doubt he ever will. It's an hour later when Aiden's done with Nathan's hair. Aiden told me that he wanted to take me out for icecream since my birthday is tomorrow, so I'm changing my clothes, looking for something cute. Nathan gives me fifty dollars every month for clothes, so I have too much to choose from. I sigh, frustrated, and dig through my closet. I pull out a cute, casual camisol with a pink, brown, and red flower pattern on it. I pull a light brown cardigan too. Is it bad I don't remember buying any of these things?
I pull the camisol over my head with a huff. Well, this has gotten tighter since who-knows-when I last wore it, I think to myself. I dig out a pair of dark blue demin skinny jeans. 
"Erica," Adien calls,"ready to go yet?" 
I tell him that I'll be down in a minute and fish through a basket that's full of shoes. I pull out some strappy light pink sandals and quickly shove them on my feet. I walk out of my bedroom and into the hallway. I look on the walls and see the pictures that are on the walls. There are a few of me and Aiden on a beach. Me and Nathan, with Nathan's arm around my shoulders. Then, as I walk down the hallway, closer to the living room, the pictures change and I'm younger. Nathan's holding my hand and I'm staring at something with my mouth open slightly. 
A sudden feeling--I'm not sure what--runs through me. I try to think back to that day. My breath catches in my throat and my eyes fill up with tears. I remember I was looking at three people. A woman, a man, and a little boy. I can't specifically remember what they looked like, but I thought they were my parents. I'm not sure why I thought they were my parents, but I did. 
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see Aiden."You okay?" he asks me. I can't read his expression.
I nod and smile at him."Yeah. Just looking at good times," we walk outside and we head to the car. Minutes later, we arrive at a small soft serve icecream joint called Icey's. We step out and my feet hits the hard, rocky gravel.  I step out of the car and shut the door. Aiden walks over to me and takes me hand in his. He holds it firmly.  My heart still flutters whenever he holds it. He guides me to the door and opens it for me, still not taking his hand from mine. It's cool in the icecream shop. My gaze flutters around the room. The walks are a baby blue and the tiles are white with blue specks in them.
It has little, gray round metal tables with matching chairs.
I look at Aiden,"I'll have a va--" Aiden cuts me off."I know," he says with a wink. I grin and excuse myself to go use the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom, you have to go through this little hallway, and there are two drinking fountains and above those are a bulletin board. On it, there's a white paper with the word "MISSING" written on it in black ink. Below the word, there's an aged picture of a girl.
And she looks just like me.


10 comments:

  1. Very suspenseful and well written! I loved it! Just a quick typo I thought you'd want to know about. "There were a few mothers, maybe s father or two." I think it's supposed to be "maybe a father or two". ^_^
    Keep writing!
    ~Seana

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    1. Thank you! Ah, I'll fix that.

      Will do!

      Thanks again,

      AbaGayle

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  2. I LOVE IT! I noticed a few typos too but not the one Sea J did. I noticed these:
    If he took me out to town, I would try to scream and do anything to be noticed, unless Aidens hand wasn't clamped over my mouth. But as the days went buy, I noticed something: I'm never going to be able to leave.
    You said Aidens but there should be a apostrophe
    and as the days went "buy" should be by
    Other than that, I can't wait for the next chapter! I wanna know who the girl in the picture is, obviously either Erica or Hannah... that seems totally different from your other books... You are a writer! Keep writing cause I want to find out what happens next!

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  3. Amazing! A little creepy but in the same time so exciting! You are a writer, my friend. Congrats!!

    There were a few typos but I see they mentioned it to you above. But I was able to understand what you meant. I love this story! You did an amazing job, keep going! :D I would so buy this book.

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  4. I can't see the comment link.

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  5. Yeah the comment link is invisible because it is the same color as it's background...

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    Replies
    1. That's really weird because it doesn't look like that to me. I'll have to check that out..

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  6. Also, thank all of you! I know it's not really something I normally do. The idea was hanging in my head for a while, and when I finally typed it up(I didn't stop for a whiiiileee)everyone seemed to love it on Figment. (: So I wanted to see what my Blog-followers thought. I'm so glad to have people like you supporting me and giving me constructive criticism.

    Once again, thank you!!

    Love,
    AbaGayle.

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  7. That's an amazing story.. I want to read more! Great job, and I hope to see moreeeeee(:

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    1. Thanks!9: I'm close to being done with the second chapter. :]

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